me: watches criminal minds for 4 hours straightÂ
someone: knocks on my doorÂ
me:
not killing myself is a personal achievement but you cant really brag about that at dinner parties
@ people who don’t let their pets go on the furniture: do everyone a favor and give your pets to me instead
Enjoy your hairy furniture
enjoy your sad dog
Change your
Tooth brush every 1-3 months
Workouts every 3 months
Pillows every year
Matress every 7 years
Running shoes every 3-6 months.
what about my bra
When the wire starts coming out and keeps shanking you in the titty
c-teardrops